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DC NearlyWeds

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The Man Shower
By: DC NearlyWeds    2 days 21 hours 57 minutes ago
Channel: Weddings   


There comes a time in every man's life when he decides to make the ultimate commitment. He selects a ring. He writes down his proposal. He asks for his lady love's parents' permission for the honor of making her his wife. And then he thinks, hey, how come she's getting all the free stuff?

Fortunately the Canadians have rectified this problem with the "man shower," which is basically like a bridal shower but with more beer, more power tools, and more Rock Band (this sounds better than a lot of bridal showers I've attended). Gift wrap is strictly optional; one attendee says, "You bring (the gift) in the plastic bag you bought it in."

Grooms often feel overlooked in the wedding process. It's always considered the bride's day, but people forget that the groom is marking an important lifetime occasion as well. These "man gatherings" are a way to honor the groom and to make him feel like an important member of the family. Right?

Or, says Summer Krecke, executive editor of WeddingChannel.com, "they're wising up to the fact that there are gifts involved."
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Categories: Weddings
Checking Vendor References
By: DC NearlyWeds    3 days 6 hours 57 minutes ago
Channel: Weddings   
Dilbert by Scott Adams via www.stangbangers.com

When I read Miss Cream Puff's post over on Weddingbee the other day about having to break-up with her photographer, I let out a little sigh of relief that I've been checking vendor references all along.

There are scads of articles, threads, posts, etc. out there in wedding-planning-land with great suggestions on what to ask when interviewing potential vendors. I've been using the "What to Ask" Printable Checklists on Real Simple Weddings and they're an excellent guide for key questions to ask vendors you might think to ask yourself. However, I haven't seem many resources for collecting references for vendors.

My thought is, in the regular working world, you wouldn't hire someone to work for you without checking their references first, so why hire a vendor without checking references?

Thus, far, Mr. Fairfax and I have our venue, caterer and photographer contracted and I've checked (or attempted to check) references for each one. Most wedding professionals should be able to provide you with a list of 2-3 couples they worked with in the past to provide references. The Mr. and I did find though, in our brief experience, that if a venue "moonlights" as a wedding reception hall (i.e. if your venue is really a historic home, that does weddings versus a wedding venue that happens to be a historic home), like ours does, they are less likely to have references available. But hey, you've always got the The Knot and Wedding Wire to do a very informal check.

I've listed a couple of my standard reference questions below that are generic enough to apply to most vendors.

  • How many people did you have at your wedding and what type (indoor, outdoor, formal, casual, etc) of ceremony and reception did you have?
  • Who else did you consider and what made you choose [vendor]?
  • How was communicating with [vendor]? Did you feel that they were responsive to your e-mails/calls? Was the level of responsiveness consistent throughout the time leading up to your wedding? What about after the wedding?
  • How flexible/open was [vendor] to changes in your contract once the contract was signed?
  • Were there any charges on your bill that came as a surprise or were added at the last minute?
  • How would you rate the [vendor's] professionalism, level of service, etc.?
  • How would you rate [vendor's] cooperation with your other vendors? Did they facilitate coordination and help everything run smoothly? Were they problematic for your other vendors?
  • What do you wish you had discussed with [vendor] prior to the wedding that you did not?
  • In hindsight is there anything you would have done differently? Picked another [vendor]? Stipulated a few specific items in the contract, etc?
AND THE MILLION DOLLAR REFERENCE QUESTION:
  • If your best friend were getting married, would you recommend [vendor] to her? Would you have any hesitation or reservations about recommending [vendor]?
For us, these questions accomplished a few things: 1) We knew we would feel more confident about our vendor choices if we got solid references. A reference check can help avoid situations like poor Miss Cream Puff's. 2) We would know our vendors better. Generic example of #2: one reference I got for a vendor mentioned the vendor is MUCH more responsive to phone calls than e-mail. Had I decided to use that vendor I would have been a savvy consumer armed with information about my vendor, rather than a frazzled bride who can't figure out why my vendor won't respond quickly to my e-mails!

I have other caterer/photographer/venue specific questions I'm happy to share if you shoot me an e-mail and fairfaxmiss@gmail.com

Did you do a reference check on your vendors? What questions did you ask?
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Categories: Weddings
Website Woes
By: DC NearlyWeds    3 days 22 hours 42 minutes ago
Channel: Weddings   
I had this brilliant idea that my fiance' could whip up a website for our wedding since the freebies that The Knot or Brides.com give you don't provide enough space for everything we need to include for our "destination wedding". So we picked a name, bought the site, and we were off; Doc (the fiance) is really quite savvy when it comes to technology so I figured this little bitty website would be no big deal to set up. I selected a inspiration website something to model our site after, and I compiled all the information to be included such as travel & accommodations links, scheduled events, even a link to RSVP online! I handed this seemingly simple project over to Doc with high expectations. 48 hours later were at each others throats after I reviewed his idea of a "cool" website complete with bachelor colors and our names written in the Time's New Roman font! How did this happen? I gave a model site which should have eliminated all "creative" input. It looks like were opening a billiards hall! I did try to mask my disappointment and gingerly request that we change the font to something softer more wedding appropriate however, this apparently is no small task because in the world of flash there is no such thing as a small change! So now he's pissed and snapping at all my "little" changes but I can't just let it go. I feel like this website will set the tone for our wedding and it's all about the details! I hate to say it but that website template at the wedding channel.com is looking pretty good right now!
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Categories: Weddings
Destination: Matrimony
By: DC NearlyWeds    4 days 14 hours 17 minutes ago
Channel: Weddings   
It's the first day of July, so everybody's thinking about summer vacation. It's not surprising that the current issue of Instyle Weddingsand one of my favorite wedding blogs, Manolo for the Brides, are featuring articles about destination weddings. It's so hot and so sticky who isn't thinking about a nice beachy vacation spot right now? (photo credit Emily Perello)

Doesn't that look nice?

But do you actually save money on a destination wedding? It does mean you don't have to invite as many guests, and you generally do use an all-inclusive resort, which is great. But you also have to plan an entire weekend of activities, and because your guests are stranded at your destination with you, you're responsible for their transportation and more of their meals for the weekend (at least you have to find them restaurants).

So I'm not sure that a destination wedding is all that great for the budget. What I am looking forward to is spending a whole weekend with my family and best friends. Since I'm putting so much effort into the reception, it just makes sense to help people make a weekend out of it if they want to, and it means we have more time to spend with everyone.

But how much do we have to be responsible for? We've currently got activities planned for Saturday daytime, Saturday evening, and Sunday (the wedding). Do we need to do something Friday night? Should we plan an activity for Monday morning, for those who are waiting for late flights? How much is too much and how much is too little?
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Categories: Weddings
Alternatives to The Wedding Cake
By: DC NearlyWeds    6 days 5 hours 20 minutes ago
Channel: Weddings   
With each wedding I attend, I think about how mine can be different. One part of the wedding that is always unimpressive is the cake! Brides spend sometimes thousands of dollars on a dessert that is often tasteless. In addition, by the time the cake is cut, the guests are either too tired or drunk to care what it looks like or tastes like!
So....I have decided against the cake and am thinking of other ideas instead. So far, the cupcake idea is all that comes to mind. I have also found the doughnut "cake" online as well. Anyone have any other non-traditional ideas instead of the wedding cake?
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Categories: Weddings
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